Loaded Junk Food · Main

Poutine Tots

Nora: I remember when I first learned about poutine. Gravy… on fries. With cheese. It’s so obvious! Mashed potatoes but crunchy and with CHEESE. Ever since college I have never been able to say no to a basket of gravy-fries. If cooking them at home, we prefer tots because of their superior crunchiness when oven-baked. We haven’t been inducted to the air fryer club… yet. Treat yourself to some heady, heavy deliciousness. If it seems too decadent, just remind yourself (as I often do) that all vegan food is essentially a salad.

Josh: Our Canadian friends have a lot to teach the world about life. One of the most important things I’ve learned is how critical poutine is. Seriously, it’s amazing. It is gravy and cheese on potatoes. It’s a goddamn revelation. We’ve made poutine with all sorts of fries now but we have two clear favorites: waffle fries and, our champion, tater tots. We bake the fries to crispiness because we don’t like deep frying, but you can cook yours however you like as long as they get crispy. If you make the cheese/cheeze ahead of time to cut down overall cook time the night you’re making it, the recipe only takes maybe 20 minutes or so (whatever the time it takes to bake the fries). You won’t regret poutine, ever.

Poutine Tots
Serves: 2 generously (it’s real good, is all I’m saying), probably 3
Cook Time: 20 mins if you make the cheeze ahead of time (or 45 mins if you make the cheeze at the same time)
Omnivore Index: The vegan-ness of this doesn’t come into play because it’s incredible. The only question is whether you like gravy and cheese on spuds or not. (Nora: An omnivore will definitely know the cheeze is fake.)
Ingredients

Cheeze
-1/2 cup (2.25 oz) raw cashews
-1 cup water
-1/4 cup minus 1 teaspoon tapioca starch
-1 tablespoon nutritional yeast
-1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
-3/4 teaspoon salt
-1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Brown Gravy
-2 tablespoons oil
-1 small onion, diced
-4-5 button mushrooms, sliced
-2 cups veggie broth
-1 tablespoon soy sauce
-3 tablespoons corn starch

-Tots, bag of frozen or homemade
-Green Onions, for garnish
Recipe

Make the cashew cheese ahead of time so it has time to cool.
1. Boil cashews 10-15 min, until softened. Drain and rinse.
2. Add all cheeze ingredients and blend in high power blender until smooth, at least 1 minute. (Will appear to be watery, but fear not.)
3. Pour into small saucepan and heat on medium-high heat, stirring continuously and scraping the bottom. It will curdle and look a little gross but keep stirring until thickened and stretchy, about 5 mins.
4. Scrape into a shallow dish and chill in fridge at least 30 mins.
5. Once solid, scoop small “curds” onto the poutine with a teaspoon or melon baller.

Tots
1. Bake according to package directions. You want them very crispy!

Brown Gravy
1. Using a medium saucepan, sautee onions and mushrooms in oil until well browned.
2. Add broth and soy sauce
3. Make a cornstarch slurry in a small dish with 3tbsp cold water. Add to gravy, simmer until thickened, about two minutes. Do not boil, since this can break down the starch and cause the gravy to thin back out. Gravy will thicken as it cools.

Assemble
1. Build your meal in layers. For equal delight in every bite, make a layer of tots, topped with a layer of cheeze curds, topped with gravy, and then another layer of each in the same sequence.
2. Top with green onion
3. Smash
Notes

-in this instance we used frozen tater tots but any form of potatoes could work – whether that be another form of frozen potato or homemade fries (the important thing is some crispiness to offset the rest of the dish being soft foods)
Even the cats keep their eyes on this meatless dinner!
Closing Arguments
Nora: JUST GIVE THEM TO ME.
Josh: Cheesy gravy fries. Think about it. Potatoes with cheese and gravy. C’mon, it’s perfect.

Main

Gnocchi Primavera

Nora: I love this recipe because it is so easy and it only uses one pot and the blender… oh and it’s delicious! The leftovers are also excellent for several days after. Feel free to try any blend of quick-cooking veggies. I bet zucchini or asparagus would be great in this dish! Just add them in while cooking the mushrooms.

Josh: This is the ultimate weeknight dinner. The ingredient list is modest, the prep work is easy, and the whole thing comes together quickly! Then when you think about how rich and creamy it is, comfort for your tum, and how absolutely delicious it is… well, there are just so many reasons why this is an ideal dinner. It’s the kind of meal that tastes like you slaved over it for hours even though it took you mere minutes. Most importantly: gnocchi. Mmmm.

Gnocchi Primavera
Makes: dinner for 4, or dinner and lunch for 2
Cook Time: 20 min
Omnivore Index: Creamy and indulgent, nobody is going to assume it is dairy free.
Ingredients

-1 package gnocchi
-2 roma tomatoes, diced
-bunch of spinach (4 handfuls work well)
-8 oz mushrooms, sliced
-15 oz can great northern beans, drained
-oil, for caramelizing mushrooms

Sauce:
-1 cup nondairy milk
-1/2 cup (2.25-2.5 oz) raw cashews
-2-3 cloves garlic
-2 tsp miso
-3 tbsp nutritional yeast
-1 tsp tapioca starch/flour
-1 tsp salt
-cracked black pepper, to taste

-green onions for garnish

Instructions
1. Cook gnocchi according to package directions.
2. While gnocchi is cooking, throw sauce ingredients into a high-speed blender and run for 1-2 minutes or until completely smooth. (If you do not have a high-speed blender, quick-soak your cashews by putting them in a small pot of water, bring to boil for five minutes, let sit covered 30 minutes or as long as your patience will allow before draining. Or soak overnight in the fridge.)
3. Put spinach in your colander and drain the gnocchi on top of it. Return pot to the stove with a bit of oil over medium heat.
4. Saute mushrooms until they release juices and those juices evaporate. Add everything into the pot and cook, stirring frequently, for 2-3 minutes until sauce thickens.

Closing Arguments
Nora: gnocchi = dumplings = good
Josh: Did we mention this is a great excuse to eat gnocchi?
Main

Dijon Brussel Sprouts Bowl

This looks like exactly the kind of meal we avoid, which is to say “bowls.” Have you noticed how almost all vegan recipes these days seem to be “bowls?” It is wild, and we are wildly unimpressed by bowl recipes. This one gets a pass because it is actually, surprisingly delicious. Brussel sprouts, vegan sausage, and best of all mashed potatoes.

The flavors in this go together just so damn well, but the magic is in that homemade dijon dressing. It really does the trick. Great meal, easy to prepare, and the leftovers hold up extremely well. Pro tip, you will need more dijon dressing, we made a batch for dinner and another for the leftovers. By the way I also ate some of the leftovers for breakfast and it was a good decision.

Dijon Brussel Sprouts Bowl
Makes: 4-5 servings
Inspired by: Budgetbytes
Omnivore Index: Everyone will know this is weird food, maybe even vegan food, but nobody will argue against how incredible it tastes
Ingredients

Mashed Potatoes
-2.5 lb russet potatoes
-1/2 tsp salt
-2 tbsp vegan butter
-1/2 cup nondairy milk

Dijon dressing
-6 tbsp oil
-6 tbsp (84g) vegan mayo
-6 tbsp (90g) dijon mustard
-6 tbsp red wine vinegar
-1/4 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp sugar
-1/4 tsp garlic powder
-freshly cracked black pepper

Brussel sprouts and sausage
-1 lb fresh brussel sprouts
-12-14 oz vegan sausage
-2 tbsp oil
Recipe

Brussel Sprouts and Sausage
-Clean brussel sprouts and slice in half
-Slice sausage into medallions
-Toss brussels and sausage with oil, put in baking dish, and bake at 425 F for 20-25 minutes, stirring halfway through

Mashed Potatoes
-Clean and cube the potatoes
-Boil on high with some salt 7-10 minutes
-Drain the potatoes
-Mash together with butter and milk
-I usually add a little garlic and onion powder as well

Dijon Dressing
-Combine all dressing ingredients by whisking together in a bowl

Layering
-Put mashed potatoes at the bottom of your bowls
-Scoop brussel sprouts and sausage mixture on top
-Drizzle dijon dressing over the bowl
-Smash

Notes

We use Earth Balance for butter
We use Silk Protein for milk
We use Just Mayo for mayonnaise
We use Torfuky Italian Sausage (if you’re avoiding processed foods you could use chickpeas instead, only because the critical point of this recipe is the dressing and not the filling. However we recommend using vegan sausage because the flavor is a major part of the whole)

Even the cats are all about this dinner.

Closing Arguments
N: But for real, the dijon dressing.