Loaded Junk Food · Main

Poutine Tots

Nora: I remember when I first learned about poutine. Gravy… on fries. With cheese. It’s so obvious! Mashed potatoes but crunchy and with CHEESE. Ever since college I have never been able to say no to a basket of gravy-fries. If cooking them at home, we prefer tots because of their superior crunchiness when oven-baked. We haven’t been inducted to the air fryer club… yet. Treat yourself to some heady, heavy deliciousness. If it seems too decadent, just remind yourself (as I often do) that all vegan food is essentially a salad.

Josh: Our Canadian friends have a lot to teach the world about life. One of the most important things I’ve learned is how critical poutine is. Seriously, it’s amazing. It is gravy and cheese on potatoes. It’s a goddamn revelation. We’ve made poutine with all sorts of fries now but we have two clear favorites: waffle fries and, our champion, tater tots. We bake the fries to crispiness because we don’t like deep frying, but you can cook yours however you like as long as they get crispy. If you make the cheese/cheeze ahead of time to cut down overall cook time the night you’re making it, the recipe only takes maybe 20 minutes or so (whatever the time it takes to bake the fries). You won’t regret poutine, ever.

Poutine Tots
Serves: 2 generously (it’s real good, is all I’m saying), probably 3
Cook Time: 20 mins if you make the cheeze ahead of time (or 45 mins if you make the cheeze at the same time)
Omnivore Index: The vegan-ness of this doesn’t come into play because it’s incredible. The only question is whether you like gravy and cheese on spuds or not. (Nora: An omnivore will definitely know the cheeze is fake.)
Ingredients

Cheeze
-1/2 cup (2.25 oz) raw cashews
-1 cup water
-1/4 cup minus 1 teaspoon tapioca starch
-1 tablespoon nutritional yeast
-1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
-3/4 teaspoon salt
-1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Brown Gravy
-2 tablespoons oil
-1 small onion, diced
-4-5 button mushrooms, sliced
-2 cups veggie broth
-1 tablespoon soy sauce
-3 tablespoons corn starch

-Tots, bag of frozen or homemade
-Green Onions, for garnish
Recipe

Make the cashew cheese ahead of time so it has time to cool.
1. Boil cashews 10-15 min, until softened. Drain and rinse.
2. Add all cheeze ingredients and blend in high power blender until smooth, at least 1 minute. (Will appear to be watery, but fear not.)
3. Pour into small saucepan and heat on medium-high heat, stirring continuously and scraping the bottom. It will curdle and look a little gross but keep stirring until thickened and stretchy, about 5 mins.
4. Scrape into a shallow dish and chill in fridge at least 30 mins.
5. Once solid, scoop small “curds” onto the poutine with a teaspoon or melon baller.

Tots
1. Bake according to package directions. You want them very crispy!

Brown Gravy
1. Using a medium saucepan, sautee onions and mushrooms in oil until well browned.
2. Add broth and soy sauce
3. Make a cornstarch slurry in a small dish with 3tbsp cold water. Add to gravy, simmer until thickened, about two minutes. Do not boil, since this can break down the starch and cause the gravy to thin back out. Gravy will thicken as it cools.

Assemble
1. Build your meal in layers. For equal delight in every bite, make a layer of tots, topped with a layer of cheeze curds, topped with gravy, and then another layer of each in the same sequence.
2. Top with green onion
3. Smash
Notes

-in this instance we used frozen tater tots but any form of potatoes could work – whether that be another form of frozen potato or homemade fries (the important thing is some crispiness to offset the rest of the dish being soft foods)
Even the cats keep their eyes on this meatless dinner!
Closing Arguments
Nora: JUST GIVE THEM TO ME.
Josh: Cheesy gravy fries. Think about it. Potatoes with cheese and gravy. C’mon, it’s perfect.

Loaded Junk Food · Main

BBQ Cauliflower Pizza

Who doesn’t love pizza? Even if you don’t love one pizza, there are so many others that can cater to your needs. It is a magical food, the ultimate delivery method of deliciousness that can be adapted to any situation and any craving.

This is arguably our favorite pizza. When it comes down to it, we make this pizza far more frequently than any other. It has the richness of a pizza with the cheese and barbecue sauce, the hardiness with the roasted cauliflower, and the protein with the chickpeas. Cheap to shop for, easy to prepare, and exceedingly delicious to eat. Plus the leftovers are just as good!

BBQ Cauliflower Pizza
Makes: dinner for four, or dinner and leftovers for two
Omnivore Index: Everyone will know this is a vegan pizza, and everyone who tries it will not mind at all.
Ingredients

Quick Rise Pizza Dough (recipe)
-1 head of cauliflower
-Vegetable oil or equivalent
-Spices of choice (salt and pepper, steak seasoning, TraderJoe 21 Seasoning Salute – for a few examples)
-1 can of chickpeas, drained (you can save the aquafaba for other recipes)
-Babecue sauce of choice (we use Sweet Baby Ray’s)
-Cheddar or pepperjack nondairy cheese

Optional ingredient suggestions: this goes great with avocado slices!
Instructions

-Prepare the Quick Rise Pizza Dough and cover bowl to let rise in bowl (follow that recipe and then use these toppings to finish pizza)

-Clean and chop cauliflower into florets
-Put cauliflower into large bowl, drizzle with oil, and sprinkle in spices of your choice, then toss gently to distribute oil and seasoning
-Bake cauliflower on baking sheet at 425°F for 20 minutes
-Roll out dough after at least 20 minutes rising
-Remove cauliflower from oven
-Top dough with cauliflower first, then chickpeas
-Drizzle barbecue sauce across the pizza and top with cheese
-Bake in the oven at 525°F for 12 minutes, letting stand 5 minutes to cool before cutting and eating

-Optionally, top with green onions and avocado slices before serving
Closing Argument
This pizza has the satisfying hardiness of a bbq chicken pizza without any need for animal products. Topped with avocado for healthy fat, it really delivers maximum yum.

Loaded Junk Food · Parts / Components

Quick Rise Pizza Dough

Everyone could use a good pizza dough recipe. It is part of many other recipes as it is the base of many of them. This is that recipe.

This pizza dough recipe is inspired by a frustration that every pizza crust we tried to buy had honey in it or worse. And once we started making this, it was no going back. This recipe is incredibly simple and easy, quick, and has reliably proven to be an excellent texture time and again.

Plus, the ingredients on hand are really basic pantry items, making this extremely cheap to make. This is a way better value and taste than any pizza crust we may have bought. We’ve also used this recipe to make stromboli and it turned out AMAZING.

Quick Rise Pizza Dough
Makes: 1 large pizza or stromboli
Omnivore Index: Nobody knows that good pizza dough is vegan already, and they won’t know this is either
Ingredients

-2 cups flour
-1 tbsp yeast
-1 tbsp sugar
-1/4 tsp salt
-2/3 cups warm water

Optional ingredient suggestions: garlic powder, onion powder, steak seasoning, Trader Joe 21 Seasoning Salute
Instructions

-Add flour, sugar, salt, and yeast to a bowl large enough for mixing (or use a mixer if you have it)
-Add any other spices if applicable
-Slowly add warm water and stir to combine
-When ingredients start to form, use your hands to knead and form dough ball
-Cover bowl with towel or plastic wrap and let sit for a minimum of 20 minutes
-Roll out into pizza dough and cover with desired toppings
-Bake on pizza pan at 525°F for 12 minutes
-Let cool 5 minutes before cutting and serving
Loaded Junk Food · Main

Taco Supreme Mac n Cheeze

I spent most of my adult life without mac and cheese. It was something I distantly remembered eating as a kid but the memories were as faint and foggy as everything else from the first decade of my life. I had not found enjoyable substitutes in my early vegan years and then stopped looking for it, stopped thinking about it. Just didn’t seem like a feasible ask, to have creamy, indulgent mac and cheese totally suffering-free.

I was, as I have often been in my life when I found certainty, mistaken.

The first time we made this mac and cheeze recipe was a game changer. It was so perfect and also unthinkably easy. We did it with bbq shreddies then (Morningstar farms pulled pork or shredded jackfruit, if you want to try). Then we were in London, Ontario and tried vegan fast food from Globally Local. They had “Supreme Style Loaded Fries” that were cheeze and taco meat on fries. We decided to adapt it onto loaded mac and cheeze. Now it is my favorite meal to eat. Yumm.

Taco Supreme Mac and Cheeze
Serves: 4, or 2 people for two meals
Omnivore Index: There is nothing vegan about this creamy, taco supreme bundle of joy
Ingredients

-16 oz pasta shape of choice
-1/4 cup nondairy butter
-1/4 cup flour

Cheeze Sauce
-4.5 oz (1 cup) raw cashews, soaked in water overnight then drained
-1/4 cup nutritional yeast
-3 cups plain nondairy milk
-2-3 cloves garlic
-1 tbsp white miso
-2 tsp apple cider vinegar
-2 tsp dry mustard
-1/2 tsp turmeric
-2 tsp salt

Taco Meat
-8-10 oz meatless crumbles
-1 tbsp chili powder
-1 tsp paprika
-1 tsp cumin
-1/4 tsp cayenne
-1/2 tsp oregano
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/4 – 1/2 cup water
-1 tsp onion powder
-1/2 tsp garlic powder
-freshly cracked black pepper (like… ten cranks)

Recipe

-Cook and drain pasta according to normal package instructions
-Combine all Cheeze Sauce ingredients in high speed blender and blend for at least a full minute or until smooth
-Thaw crumbles
-Combine crumbles with all Taco seasoning ingredients, microwave until hot 2-3 minutes
-In a medium pot, melt butter
-Add flour, cook while stirring for 2-3 minutes or until slightly golden
-Whisk in Cheeze Sauce, cook and stir over medium heat (5-7 minutes)
-Mix Cheeze Sauce into pasta
-Top with preferred fixings and enjoy (we go for diced tomato, shredded lettuce, and a dollop of plain nondairy yogurt)
Notes

We use Silk plain protein nut milk
We use Earth Balance butter
We use Silk plain yogurt
We use Simple Truth brand meatless crumbles (found at Kroger in our area) but Gardein would be second choice
In these pictures, we had Spinach instead of romaine
Closing Arguments
I swear, this goes on the dinner list every other week because I always want it.

Alternative idea for Loaded Mac n Cheez:

Chicken Parmesan Mac n Cheez

-same mac n cheez recipe, but instead of taco supreme it is served with vegan chicken patty (Simple Truth brand in this case) with vegan cheez broiled on top